If only we could talk to the crocodiles…
In the recent post Beware of Crocks… I ended the bit with “If only we could talk to the crocodiles.”
I had started a new paragraph with that line and somehow got distracted and never finished it. I didn’t notice until after JD left a comment. I left it like it was because I thought it was funny. I wish I would have put “If only we could talk to the crocodiles…” with an elipses instead of a period. Maybe someone would have finished it for me. Sounds like a contest…
But seriously. Think about it. If we could talk to the crocodiles, and that girl could have talked to that crocodile that was going to eat her, would this tragedy have happened? Would that crocodile have mauled and killed that girl if she could have said, “Oh, Mr Crocodile, don’t eat me. I’m too young, and sweet, and delicious to eat!”
And Mr Crocodile says to her in his most sympathetic voice, “I’m sorry, honey, but I am old and starving and can’t hunt so I need to eat you to survive.”
Then the girl could say, “Oh hell, why didn’t you just say so. I got a bunch of spoiled chickens back at the cabin. I was going to have to throw them out anyway, I’ll just go get them for you straightaway. These assholes up here on the bank are my friends. Wanna beer while I get back?”
Mr. Crocodile smiles his big ole crocodile smile, “Ahhh, could you? That’d be great.”
“No problem, Mr. Crock. Then, tomorrow I’ll take you down to the ranger’s station and get you signed up on Medicaid Part B. After that we can see about getting those teeth fixed.”
And what about these damn fire ants? If only we could talk to the ants…